day 71 – 01/05/08

day71.jpg

just like this quick break between rainstorms, the diabetes online community is my “blue sky” between the highs and lows of diabetes. i saw these words, and it is what i ask for 2008 for all of my D-OC friends. better days.

And you ask me what i want this year
and i try to make this good and clear
just a chance that maybe we’ll find better days

cause i don’t need boxes wrapped in strings
and designer love and empty things,
just a chance that maybe we’ll find better days

so take these words
and sing out loud
cause everyone is forgiven now
cause tonight’s the night the world begins again

and its someplace simple where we could live
and something only you can give
and let’s faith and trust and peace while we’re alive

and the one poor child who saved this world
and there’s 10 million more who probably could
if we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

so take these words
and sing out loud
cause everyone is forgiven now
cause tonight’s the night the world begins again

i wish everyone was loved tonight
and somehow stop this endless fight
just a chance that maybe we’ll find better days

so take these words
and sing out loud
cause everyone is forgiven now
cause tonight’s the night the world begins again

cause tonight’s the night the world begins again

i have been dealing with a few days of depression. mostly due to the fact of reflection on the past year and trying to make resolutions for the new year. my disbelief in getting this disease. all due to the fact that if i had only gone to the hospital sooner for my gallbladder, i would have never gotten the bile duct obstruction, which would never have caused the pancreatitis and on and on. NOT FAIR! not bad enough i’ve got Stage 3 CKD, but now i have to deal with this. and i’m not Type 2, i’m frigging Type 1. NOT FAIR! i wish i could get the world to begin again and not deal with this. <sigh>

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5 responses to “day 71 – 01/05/08

  1. Oh Landileigh! Your cheery voice and sweet disposition just makes me feel even worse that all this was heaped on you in 2007. I know you will weather it and be stronger and better for it, but it sucks. Any way you look at it, it still sucks to have type 1 and other health concerns. I am so glad I met you, even if it was diabetes that had to bring us together.

    Can’t wait to chat for real soon (my voice is back a bit) and meet in 08. Better things for 08, please! Thank God for the D-OC (and Lexapro, for me)

  2. Landileigh,
    I’m so sorry to hear you’re feeling depressed. I hope you’re feeling better soon. I’m with Amylia; what would we do without each other? I thank God for my Diabetes OC friends. Thanks for being one of mine. 🙂

  3. Oh Landileigh I lope things start to look up soon. I hope that you can look towards a bright future in spite of your diabetes diagnosis, and away from the regrets of your past. We are all here to support you!

  4. (((Hugs))) to you. It is not fair. I’m sorry you are going through some depression right now. But I’m glad that you can write about it, and hope you let us take some of the burden from you. No regrets. Onward and upward.

  5. LandLeigh –
    Hang in there with the depression. I know it sucks, but find the good in the day no matter how small and take time to acknowledge it.

    Oh, if the world could give us “do overs” how different things would be. But…it does not mean that things would be right or perfect.

    Leave the past in the past and focus on your future. Know that all of us have your back and wish u nothing but good thoughts and positive vibes !
    Kelly Kunik

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